We'll Have Tea

by Caspar Milquetoast

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ghostednaner waltzed into my heart :) Favorite track: So Long, Giovanni.
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(0) The Fool 00:53
That’s all one; I won’t go there again. A God who marks the sparrow’s fall knows where each of us molders. That’s enough. Still, I have dreams. [x3] I have dreams.
I was on the first contact team The hand of time is kind with me The biosphere is full of trees I was the arrowhead I didn’t used to trust the water The microflora were ample The botanists all took samples I had a tough time with the heat I felt bad for them; we were their first friends They were just another figure on our visitation list Subject, object, verb Eighteen different case endings Polyphonic tonal shift Wasn’t easy to codify The air particles killed our engines The atmosphere was breathable The profits inconceivable Our transmission cut out This is for the best Leave them here to rest We are rich enough in Terras and I like the view down here
Not today, you sermonizing bastard Not today, not today, Not today, not today It’s enough, you penny-ante player, It’s enough, exit right It’s my turn, it’s my light In my hand the quill, the deed in my name My turn to perish, my halo of flame In my hand the coin, the scepter, the ring And my tetanospasmin in the ear of the king Pack it up, you womanizing sloucher Pry the boards, pull the drapes, pack the rapiers and capes Think of me, you unlanceable boil Think of me when you wake from another bad dream The stage and the arch, the funeral veil I finally win even when I have failed All eyes are on me, I cannot be seen I touch what I will and I look as I please Are you tired, my blown rose, of watching your back every day, every night Of the terror and blight? Is it hard, you poor devil, to live with the things you have witnessed and done: Has it stolen your fun? (How!) your wife kicks you out of the nuptial bed (How!) the wicked moon lights on your tormented head (How!) I hope that it has, that it roils in your gut (How!) I hope that your friends all think you’ve lost your nut [Spoken:] Mooi is het om zoet te zijn, als een bloesem die haar parfum nalaat op de handen van de versnipperaar. Maar al die barmhartigheid heeft één bestemming: Hetzelfde paradijs dat toegewezen is aan de lieve labrat. Leef je bescheiden, dan word je een povere opgestane. Een planeet vol tweederangsgoden paaiend tussen de paardenbloemen. Ik ken niemand die voor mij een moord zou begaan.
You will be dead by the time the sun rises I’ll be alone with my glass and the view Up to the end you were full of surprises Maintenant il faut qu’on se dise ‘adieu’ So long, Giovanni, you should have got better If I could go just a few months back in time I think I would leap off the precipice for you Or cut both our losses and take a boat home I bought a new shirt yesterday in some boutique Only because I had none that were clean I felt you fix the second button for me Your hands were just where they always had been So long, Giovanni, you should have got better If I could go just a few months back in time I’d stay in New York and I’d turn twenty-seven And then twenty-eight and at last twenty-nine I have been pacing for several hours I don’t know which thought frightens me the most Je suis totalement perdu, et d’ailleurs: I could be wasting my thoughts on a ghost So long, Giovanni, you should have got better If I could take all of this back, then I would The woman I love left her nylons on the floor Each door is open and every room yours
(I did everything I could Short of petticoats, short of ‘should’ I did everything I could) I don’t like to be the martyr I don’t like to play the game I don’t know why the right decision’s Always full of guilt and shame I hope you notice that she blushes When you look her in the eye And that her eyes are green as water, green as the earth, green as the sky You daffodil, you filthy crocus Take your medals, take your gold With some effort I’ll find a window Behind which to grow old You will be her life preserver Nest egg, and her final hope So she won’t end up like me: A dead fish on the shores of home Why it has to be like this for us I never will discern And if you know, you’ll keep it from me: God help you on the day I learn [x2]
Pink House 01:32
I haven’t slept a wink I’ve been dreaming I’m afraid [x2] Come and find me [x3] Bring your debts, Bring the clothes on your back Bring the shame in your gut We will sleep on the couch I don’t care what it costs If you’ll only come home Come home Only come home
Salieri 03:54
It was you, you doltish, coltish thing The hero of the story In your mouth a pair of lucky cords crafted to sing his glory (Saul, Saul, Saul x2) It was you who saw the ships to shore singing the stormy sea You who turned them all aside to walk the riverbeds with me (Saul, Saul, Saul x2) You came to me in tears, my friend, you asked ‘what should I do?’ You had no words for all the people who had hung their hopes on you (Saul, Saul, Saul x2) I told you that your gift was yours I said it was enough You can’t pour from an empty cup Your eyes were red, your hands were rough (Saul, Saul, Saul x2) Neither of us would sleep at night: you’d wake us with your thrashing All your dreams were full of people tugging on your clothes, chanting: (Saul, Saul, Saul x2) Well, I knew I had to free you, so I wore my blackest glove They’ll call it a betrayal, but it was an act of love (Saul, Saul, Saul x2) And when the snakebite came at last, both of us were relieved I’d spent too many moonless nights wearing you on my sleeve (Saul, Saul, Saul x2) Well, I don’t know where you found the gall To look so damn surprised I will not change the ending I can only swap the words around (Saul, Saul, Saul x2) And while I tell it, you are trapped A snow-globe groom inside it all Until the end of fucking time, until my final petal falls, it’s (Saul, Saul, Saul x4)
The Negation 01:33
I’ll sleep in every garden, I’ll marry every ugly sister, I’ll spend days and nights by candlelight In the throes of quiet yearning If you have something that’s touched his skin and taken on his sexy chagrin I’ll pay whatever price you give To hold it in my hands I’m following the paper trail of a man who dealt in sighs and wails Whose only living monuments are grandfathers and hags Be that the case, and all the same, I will give chase, I will take names As no one knows a poet like his final grieving fan. (We’ll have tea when the rapture comes x4) I’ve blown most of my fortune But you just can’t price the feeling of repenting for a hundred miles, the brambles in my knees If I could only make you see what happened between you and me when I found the little loops you used to fashion from your ‘G’s! So just imagine my dismay when Mother Nature scored away the final proof that you and I were always meant to click And I have had to face the fact that we don’t have a secret pact And if I’d ever met you, then I’d think you were a prick. (We’ll have tea when the rapture comes x4)


TR058 - Tiny Room Records 2022

The first Caspar Milquetoast release is a brilliant, eclectic grab bag of stories, perspectives and styles.

The title of Caspar Milquetoast's first release, We'll Have Tea, is taken from a lyric in the final track: we'll have tea when the rapture comes. Each track on the EP is an attempt to inhabit one particular story (four novels, one novella, a play and a TV show) and speak from the perspective of one of its characters - to sit down for tea with them, if you like.

We'll Have Tea was recorded between November 2021 and January 2022 (although most of the tracks were written much earlier) and mastered by Tiny Room Records’ label manager Stefan Breuer. The sound of the EP is eclectic, mirroring the different character voices: an exolinguist on an alien planet tells her story to the backdrop of far-out synth arpeggios and acoustic guitar. A jilted Shakespearean mistress curses the man who tossed her aside with a frantic clarinet solo. An understated piano keeps a young man company as he waits for the execution of his lover. And track 5 begins with a remix of Mendelssohn’s wedding march.

Amani began making music around 2017, creating shaky arrangements in GarageBand and recording the vocals in her closet on a hissing USB microphone. Her methods now are much the same, although the microphone is a little better and the closet has become a one-room apartment. Caspar Milquetoast, on the other hand, came into existence in 2022: We'll Have Tea will be Amani's first release under that name. Two things define her approach to music: 1) her love of language and 2) her short attention span. This results in a gloriously chaotic songwriting process full of literary references and in-jokes, and generally brief songs with a clear story arc.


released July 8, 2022

Mixed by I. Amani Mohed
Mastered by Stefan Breuer

All songs written and performed by I. Amani Mohed

Additional vocals on A Face of Burnished Gold by Shaam Sanjai Nathe - The spoken word part is a translation of an excerpt from "Forfeiting My Mystique" by Kaveh Akbar.
Additional vocals on So Long, Giovanni by Carmen Rueda
Piano on So Long, Giovanni, guitar and drum on Well, Well, Well, and guitar and additional vocals on Salieri by Stefan Breuer


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Tiny Room Records Utrecht, Netherlands

Tiny Room Records is a Dutch record label for underground artists, with a focus on experimental indie rock, lo-fi, noise, ambient, folk, slowcore, shoegaze, etc.

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